Oh Justin. I’ve been meaning to write you for some time. I came to see you the last two times you were in Chicago and I gotta say your music, your dancing and your shows were spectacular. So tonight in Chicago it’s Blogapalooza. No silly! It’s not a new dance. It’s a monthly writing challenge for ChicagoNow bloggers. We are given a topic and have one hour to write and publish a post. Here’s the challenge tonight:”Write a letter to a celebrity (rock star, politician, athlete, movie star, etc.) convincing them you should become best friends.” So Justin….here it goes.
1. I don’t want to steal you away from your wife. Listen, I respect the marriage thing. You and Jess look like you have a good thing going and, hell JT, I’m married too. I am a happy mom of two kids. We can have that older sister/little brother vibe going on. You will love to take me shopping to outfit me in some kick ass William Rast denim and I’ll tell you when we’ve all had enough of the white sneakers.
2. I can dance! Wanna hit the club? My kids tell me I can whip and nae nae like a horse. That’s what I’m supposed to do, right? Wanna do some Single Lady moves? I’m your gal. Old school 90s rap? That’s me YO. I’ve got some moves JT and there’s really nothing you can do that won’t make me smile and shake.
3. I can give you parenting advice. Listen, I know you and Jess and your nanny have this thing on lock, but dude, seriously, nothing helps new parents more than some chill and wise veteran mom like me saying things like “He won’t be six and still not going poopy on the potty,” or “I promise you all the kids catch up to their reading level by third grade,” or my favorite one for new parents “Let him cry for a few minutes, go to take your shower and I promise he will not need a therapist.”
4. I am pretty funny and I think you’ll get a kick out of me. And, even better, I know my place. No one is funnier than you my Omletteville darling. I will laugh at all your jokes, watch adoringly as you emulate Robin Gibb and act all sultry when you put your di#@ in a box. Oh yes, I will chortle and guffaw in all the right places.
5. I am a really, really good friend JT. I listen, I share, I’m reliable and man I can keep a secret. I’m like a vault. So anytime you need to bitch about how Jimmy Fallon tries to one-up you, or how you couldn’t get Clooney to come to one of your golf events or how in all honesty you are just so sick of appearing on SNL – I’m your gal. Your best friend Neen is here, waiting to serve, to dance, to laugh.
Did you enjoy tonight’s topic? Read all the ChicagoNow blogger posts from tonight’s Blogapalooza here.
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