Grateful for the Chaos 

November brings with it cooler weather, leaves of gold and the feeling of thanks in the air. It’s the perfect time to begin a practice of gratitude. You Know Neen is hosting the 2nd Annual 30 Days of Gratitude blog series, a place where the experience of gratitude will be explored and shared. I, along with several other contributors will be sharing our thoughts on all things gratitude. 

Written by Megan Drozd

Mostly, I’m a mess.  I live with two rambunctious, yet darling, little people under the age of five.  My house boasts a vague sense of organization and smells faintly of sweaty socks. We are always clean and showered, but we’ve practically cornered the market on bed-head hairdos. And, try as I may, I’m perpetually 10 minutes late to wherever it is we are trying to go and usually missing one or more of the items I needed to bring with me to this location.

I am your “every man” of stay-at-home-moms. I spend the bulk of my time and energy caring for the needs of others. And, even with this large investment, I appear to fail from time to time. Occasionally, I nail this motherhood thing. It feels lovely, and I try to bottle those moments for when I really need them (these bottles reside right next to the wine).

images-3Whether I’m succeeding or failing, chaos always ensues.  I am grateful for every chaotic moment of motherhood. I hold every meltdown, every tear, and angry huff to me as dearly as every sweet kiss, whispered “I love you” and hand held because the truth is that I wasn’t always sure I’d be around for these years. Two years ago in the throes of Postpartum Depression there was no guarantee I’d be around to feel any of these moments.

I battled my own pervasive thoughts of suicide, my own malfunctioning brain chemistry and came out the victor with the help of many of my loved ones. What once wasn’t always a sure bet became a beautiful mess, my mess, my life.  When I think that it has all become too hard, and just too much I stop and consider how LUCKY I am to be here, problems and all. I try, sometimes daily, to remind myself that this chaos, these parenting challenges are my thank you from the world just as much as are the smooth days and the parenting successes.

I am grateful. I am grateful just to be. And, more than that, I’m grateful to be their mom.

Megan Drozd is a fellow blogger at ChicagoNow and cast member of Listen To Your Mother 2016. Find her on her blog, The StableMables. You can also find Megan on Facebook and Twitter.

 

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