Farewell, Nina: A Eulogy to Me in Order to Remind Me How to Live

I wrote my own eulogy and I realize I’m not quite living the life I want to live. I’m not sick, or worried about getting sick or dying. I was inspired by a woman in Florida who wrote her own obituary while she was in hospice care.  I love her brave ability to write about her life and be grateful for it as she was dying. I thought about my own obituary.  I know what I would say about my life, but what would someone else say? How do I want to be remembered? Have you thought about how you want to be remembered?

I wrote a list throughout the day, then throughout the week. As the words kept flowing, the question nagged at me: Am I living the life I want to live to be remembered the way I want to be remembered? Once I wrote the entire eulogy, I had my answer: In some areas, YES. In some NO. Here are some key words and phrases from my list – note – many of them came up more than once!

Kind, comforter, silly, sweet, persistent, energetic, fiery, great energy, FUN, joyful, played hard, warm, moral but could be a fun kind of reckless,  a GREAT DANCER, a HORRIBLE singer, she was great in bed!, persistent, embraced her fears,  you could always count on her, always searching, self aware, faithful, loyal, trying to be better, trying to improve herself. Best wife, supportive, encouraging, loving, sexy, cool, partner, joyful, strong, vulnerable, lovable.

Kind mom, fun mom, always hugged me mom, never let me down mom, my rock, fair mom, tough mom, sometimes a little over protective mom, weird mom, crazy day mom, spontaneous mom, dance in the kitchen mom, let me listen to rap mom, pulled me out of school just because mom, Loving, Loving, Loving mom…

HILARIOUS. OH I got a KICK OUT OF HER! Best friend, That girl could drink a glass of wine! Encouraging, Encourager, She lifted me up. I could go to her. I could be happy, sad, angry, frustrated, regardless – she made me want to share with her.

Are you living the way you want your friends and family to remember you? Are you being as kind and loving as you want, are you the best spouse you could be? The life you are living right now is how you will be remembered. What are we doing to be kind? Are we  trustworthy and do our “people” know we will do anything for them? Are we as encouraging as we want to be?

While I’m not suggesting writing a full blown eulogy like I did, if you want a little exercise in checking in with your life, I do recommend writing some adjectives. Write the words to describe the life you want. Doing this made me take pause and realize how I’m living well, and how I’m living some areas in mediocrity.  Moving forward, I’m paying more attention to how I behave – consistently.  I need to step up my game and have fun living the life I want.

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