My daughter’s oldest friendship brings me joy

They met as infants. Born five weeks apart in the summer of 1999, two opposite and adorable newborns were thrust into one another’s lives by the sheer will of their mothers. My friend and I were so close, it was natural we would want the same for our girls.

We were realistic, however, and always said, “Let’s just hope they never dislike each other.” It’s almost like we didn’t want to hope too hard they would be close for fear of jinxing it. We were trying to ward off any future disappointment if they didn’t get close.

To say the bar of expectation was set low was an understatement. We never wanted to force a friendship on these girls. Friendship blossomed anyway. Year after year, from Barney to Dora (The Explorer) to Groovy Girls to High School Musical to middle school to high school – their friendship grew. Throughout the years, we expressed our gratitude that yes, they were still friends – best friends.

While I wonder how much of this has to do with them not going to the same schools and living in the same town, I am comforted and grateful their friendship has lasted their entire short lives. They each have besties at their respective schools, nice social lives apart from one another, whole parts of each other’s lives they know nothing about.  Unknown-2

And yet. They are a pleasant constant for one another, always a presence in the background of each other’s lives, ready to be called to the surface if and when they are needed. In times of daily high school girl turmoil, I’ve seen Daughter reach out to her oldest friend and be comforted by just a text. I have seen Friend do the same in return.

These girls are there for each other, all the time. They have a beautiful reliability with one another I don’t see in many adult friendships. They are generous with their assumptions about one another. When Friend hasn’t called Daughter for a while, Daughter doesn’t get angry. She knows Friend probably has this and this going on, and let’s it go. Zero drama. Lots of generosity.

I. Love. Them. Friend is hanging out with us this weekend and I am overjoyed. They don’t really want me around too much. Sigh. I don’t get it (I’m cool, right?) So I settle for hearing them together and feeling their carefree, easy energy, which makes my heart light. I love knowing my daughter has someone (that isn’t me) she can count on to have her back or hear her cry.

I am grateful they have each other. I am grateful they hold 16 years of memories they will carry forever. I am grateful for this lifelong friendship, the silly things they say and do and the lovely lightness they carry because of it. It is an honor to watch them grow.

Do your kids have dear friends? Lifelong friends? How about you? Do you write about it in your gratitude journal? Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to hear your stories!

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